Healing

I have overcome a big hurdle. I feel unstuck, finally. Depression is a thing of the past, recent past. I feel like I just woke up from a nightmare and now I am trying to remember and reflect about what just happened.  I hope I don't go back to that pit. Some things have changed, especially the way I view myself. I felt so defeated, helpless and hopeless. Nobody knew what was going on inside me. How hurt I was. I didn't have friends. I was unhappy with my marriage. But I didn't want to admit it because I didn't want to hurt his feelings.  I felt exhausted, criticized, unloved, uncared for. Now I feel more loved, supported and respected by my husband. It was a long journey and difficult time for us both. We both needed to change. We both needed God's help.
I started seeing a counselor once a week this January of 2013. Now it's down to once a month. Imagine paying somebody just to listen to what's going on in your head. I was desperate. I needed somebody to talk to. Which only shows that friends and support are not readily available where I am. I left all of them in the Philippines. I wish I can bring all of them here.
I've learned a lot. Especially being aware of my own personal needs and how to express it. I have learned how to verbalize my feelings instead of withdrawing and falling into self pity and depression.
I am a work in progress. God is not through with me yet. But I am so grateful that he lifted me out of the mire I was stuck in for a long time.

Malachi 4:2 "But for you who fear my name, the Sun of Righteousness will rise with healing in his wings. And you will go free, leaping with joy like calves let out to pasture. (New Living Translation Bible)